Yeap just got back from yc house..Omg..really damn freaky..im getting more mischevious lately:)
During this holiday, there were few times when i came back around midnight or 1am -.-
Seriously, i better make not that into a habit..Just went his house to celebrate the countdown thingy -.- haix..forced to go..
(currently its 2am)
Okay im really tired now, so let's get down to some serious blogging first..

Firstly, Everyone let's forget bout those bad memories we had in 2009..but whatever good memories u had back then..do keep them deep down in your mind and not lose it..Let's move on to 2010!! Its the beginning of my sec 4 life..Soon to o's..
Okay, i wanna thank those in the clique (Nicky, Elisabeth, Ho Yang, Deborah, Cindy, Hilary, Bharti, Callie, Randal and YC) Sorry if i have left anyone else out..no offence..but i think that's all in the clique..Hahahaha..wanna see them when school reopen!! ARGH!!
Anyway, thanks alot when i need your encouragement and other stuffs..U were there to brighten up my life and bring colours into my life..Without u all, my life would probably be just a solemn and lonely sec life..Thanks for talking sense into me when im thinking ludicrously!! U have made a great impact in my life..Yeap Yeap!! I just wanna say thanks to you all..and wanna wish u happy 2010! I hope after our major exams, we would still rmbr this clique..and probably when everyone is free, we might go out again together!! :) In my life, I will always rmbr this clique..This is really from the bottom of my heart..
Good luck for your major exams next year..all the best!! Let's strive hard together aite?!?! :)

Okay, lastly before i go off..From what i feel now, I really feel extremely guilty..I have let one person down very badly..And i believe that this person aint gonna forgive me that easily..u probably might have dun care bout it but still, Im really sorry towards you..I regretted it..in any case, I respect ur decision..Im the one at fault..So yea, i believe the good old days can't be relieved again..im not trying to be pessimistic...But looking at the situation, It doesnt look good..Im trying to be there for that person to lend a listening ear..but can that happen?? :(

Shall study till school reopen le..bye people..

brandz.panguin.

Haix..Its now 2.02am in the morning..and its only 3days left to school reopen..

Yeap..later around 9.45am have to go back school to clean up sjab room and discuss bout cca orientation..haix..very lazy to go..Worst of all, asst. training head lazy go!! Urgh..left only 4 people..Zalikha, Yc , Hui Yu and i..Haix..feel like staying at home to study.. =.=
Really tired now but still, my mind is still not at ease..

Im still the midst of getting ready to resume to my "studying mode"..Haix..revising my a maths textbook already:) But haven done assessment..And worst of all, haven finish homework.. :(
Im really sorry to say this, but today i just finished reading eclipse..Hahaha..i know i extremely slow..Now getting ready to read breaking Dawn.. :)

Haix..Two days ago..Around 10plus in the night, me and yc cycled from sembawang to bishan..Hahaha..crazy ba..Then the next morning, went back to his house thru cycling again..but the second time, we took longer..and seriously, our butt was really pain..As though being caned on the ass..Cant even sit properly now.. :( and my hand is still pain!!

Tmr probably gonna go school, after that go popular before going home to study already..Wanna watch avatar with the clique..But sad to say, i have no time..and Insufficient money =.=

yeap..probably gonna sleep early soon..

To someone: i bet u are sick now, do rest well and sleep early..Get well soon..drink more water aite..I believed u are very troubled now and no one to confide in now..Chill aite..There are so many people who is willing to lend their ears to listen to your sorrows..And im also willing to lend..I would be much obliged to help you..But it depends on yourself too..CHEER UP K!! Take care..JYJY! :)

brandz.panguin.

Left with one more chapter to revise for a maths before doing some assessment!! Omg..i hate the the simple trigonometric part..Haix..Why must we have a revision test on the chapter 12?!? Can we touch up more on that part?? Im still somehow confused.. -.-

Urgh! In another 4 days time, School is gonna reopen..Yeap! good thing is that i will be able to see my friends again..BUT it will also be the beginning of my doom days before the o's!! i bet it will be only around 300 days left before the major exam starts!! Oops..Its time to prepare..Can't think of other stuffs already..

Haix..Haven finish up homework..

Shall continue if i got the time.. :)

brandz.panguin.

Yeap! Justnow came back from yc house..left around 10.30plus..hahahha..really awesome seriously!! caused we went back to my house by cycling!! Omg..seriously it was very very shiok..but tiring too :) hahaha..to think we are able to do this..its somehow a nice achievement isnt it?? hahaha..yeap yeap..both my legs damn suan..took around 1hr 15mins..after that, reached around 00 02 then, as ppl would know..got scolded by my mother.. :) after that, went down to follow yc go watch soccer..kinda boring..but still, the goals were wonderful!! hahaha..im not feeling sleepy at all!!

Bought a nice green tee shirt!! really nice..thanks nicky and the others..hahhaa..once got more money, will invite you all to be my consultant..hahaha.. :)

yeap to someone: Later u stil have drill camp again ba..glad that u learnt something :) be happy aite?? i will always support you! must train up on ur drills..so next yr can use it le..JYJY!! u can do it..there's so many people who are there for you de aite?? no worries k.. :) stay strong..and dun care bout those who are creating troubles in ur life k..take care..im willing to lend u my ears anytime de..only if u want ba..

since part of the past was wondeful, why should i let go of it??

brandz.panguin.

One more week before school is gonna reopen..Its time to really work towards my goal!!:)
Thinking of the major exam in a few months time, it just freaks me out..Urgh! Looks like no matter what, it cant run away from me..So yea..i just have to face it then!! FTW!!
Just now, i read your post too..you said that u almost regretted your actions..is it really true? I dunno..Well, i dun really bother much bout it anymore..so yea..

Yeap!! just now went grandma house..Omg!! my cousin brought a puppy..and i was really fascinated by it..so yea..played with it..but not for long, they went back..WTH!! so fast go back home..hahaha..the puppy was really cute..it kept running around!! Wonder if im able to get one..Hahaha..(Shall kill that wish of mine cause it will nvr happen!!) my mom will nvr..

Came back home..watched the show, The Promise..Omg, really awesome..But somehow the ending quite bad..just a painting with the guy smiling into the air.. -.- The girl was really very pitiful..Haix.. yeap yeap..so here i am..writing this blog..shall go study now..

One last thing, i bet u who u are..good luck for your drill camp today(Its 00 06)..Take care..All the best!! :) JYJY... cya when school reopens..

brandz.panguin.

Yeap!! here comes another boring day.. :(

Hope tmr would be wonderful..Hahaha..Gonna watch Alvin and the Chipmunks 2!! Will it be nicer?? :) But tmr only got at least 7ppl going only..Sad sia..some cant go cause busy or got CCA..Haix..The more people, the merrier it will be :)

Haix..im feeling so lifeless lately..Dunno why..Maybe its really time for me to study!!! OMG..Probably 5pm then start..Shit..Im just wasting my precious time!! urgh..

I really have the urge to talk to you but..seriously when i think of that, my mind just go blank..dunno what to say..I believe after what have happen last yr, i think its very awkward for you to talk to me again..I really hope next yr, things will be better between us..
Anyway, all the best for your drill camp tmr.. take care..


Okay!! time to watch my anime.

brandz.panguin.

Again, merry christmas to everyone..hope u had a wonderful day with ur family!!

Yeap, its like 2am in the morning now..and i dun even have the mood to go to sleep..so yea..here i am blogging..probably will be staying at home to study..cause its been like around 6 days i didnt get to study!! somehow..not trying to be a pig, but im feeling hungry right now..Nvm..shall tahan till later on..

anyway, today i went to the Singapore flyer..it was somehow boring in the cabin..so yea..took some pictures..Really bored..WTF!! worse of all was that, before taking singapore flyer..my family went towalk around..and i was busy taking pictures with my bro..and when it was about time to go into the cabin..my phone camera apparently just cant work!!! urgh..so frustrated..that's why i was only able to take a few pictures..yeap, the pictures are in my FB..
Somehow im beginning to appreciate music and pictures more..i just got the inspiration to take more awesome pictures and one of my wish right now..is to probably have a good camera and learn piano too.. :) back to the story, the ride was about 30mins..to me, its kinda not worth it..
cause my father had to pay 30bucks for one ticket?!?! (1 min= $1) after that, went to vivo for dinner..seriously there's plenty of ppl! end of story..

yeap..to my bro: till now, im still confused at what i have done wrong..im really sorry..i hope u will tell the reasons soon..


to someone else: heard that u cried..i wont ask happen if u r not willing to say..im fine with it..but do cheer up aite?!?! Be happy!! :)


i dunno why im feeling so upset.. :(

brandz.panguin.

First of all, Merry christmas to everyone!! Wishing you a fruitful one..And do enjoy the day aite?!?! Be happy..

Omg..i haven been studying for at least 4days le..What am i doing man?!?!?! Haix..
Its either going out with friends or slacking at home..Most probably gonna stay the next whole week at home except Monday to really sit down and mug..Really worried for next year le..

Yeap! Today went out with Yc and Khairul to Play bowling..Supposedly, i wanted to play..but apparently didnt played cause it will really burn a big hole in my pocket..So yea..just stood there and watched both of them played..After that, we decided to roam around Clarke Quay and Vivo city..O.o saw the MV DUOLOS ship..the oldest ship right after the titanic..

To my bro: Even though im not really sure what i have done wrong this time round..But i will still apologise to you..Cause somehow i got a feeling that u are pissed off with me..So yea..Im really sorry Bro..I hope u will tell me soon..

Probably in another 9hours, i will be taking the Sngapore Flyer for the first time..Yeap..i hope everything turns out well tmr..Merry Christmas ppl!! :)

Yeap..just saw this justin bieber link..Its really awesome!! to me..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyKZCQfKIDw

brandz.panguin.

Hahahhaa...im right now in YC house around 1am in the morning?! Im feeling super bored now..and worst of all, i dun even feel like sleeping..

Today woke up around 9plus..to meet Yc to study at AMK library..seriously though its smaller than bishan library but there were much more space for us to study lor..So yea studied for at least 2hours then go eat lunch..Omg..I spent freaking lots of money and im really super worried..

Today im supposed to go play bowling with Yc and khairul..And Bharti, Hilary and Sam are coming..so sad some of the rest cant come..

Haix..yesterday seems much of a disaster..too much that i cant explain all!! first of all, im really sorry Hilary..i didnt know that your handphone pouch was open ma..VERY SORRY!!

Shall end here..

brandz.panguin.

Omg..WTF!! what the hell just happened? im really so confused now..
really now in a serious bad mood..

Tmr was supposed to study with my friend..then in the end, cant go study!! -.- really pissed off..
hope tmr i will be able to study at home ba..

WTF!! WTF!! WTF!! Stop it already can..Im sick of it..Stop msging me bout stuffs regarding bout my personal life and family..I need some peace!! i bet u know who u are..If u are going to msg me some stuffs regarding my life ever again..im so gonna ignore it..For the last time i gonna say this, Stop it..
Bet this is called "retribution"..cause when i rmbr of those days when i kept pestering someone..BUT AT LEAST ITS NOT BOUT PERSONAL LIFE..Omg..really regretted it..Bet things would be much better now..


I really miss the past alot..
For 1st one, one word to describe it, "Crap.."For the 2nd one, OMG!! two words to describe it, "EXTREMELY AWESOME"..For the 3rd one, one word and three letters to describe it, "BETRAYAL, WTF!!"

Till now, from the bottom of my heart, i would always rmbr the 2nd one...It was the best..Even though things mat not have happen much but still, i still love it the best..i really regretted what i have done in the past..But would i be able to be given another chance?? Thinking of it, i finally realised that that im totally responsible for what have happened..to that person, im really sorry..
I know some stuffs cant be forced..but i really really yearn for the good old days of 2nd one to relive again..But i know the possibilty of that happening..would be less than 0.1%..Haix..I still wont give up..PERSEVERANCE!! FTW!!
But even so, Im trying to look at a optimistic point of view, but i dun think it can happen..

Whenever i think of the past, the feelings just grew stronger too..sorry..

Well 2010, its gonna be a major year for me..haix..Gonna mug real hard..

Bro, i dunno what have just happened..but seriously i hope we didnt done anything wrong towards me..Sorry if im the cause..Cheer up!! :)


Can things be better like last time??

brandz.panguin.

Yea im back blogging!! Past few days was very lazy to blog even thought im online..Have been watching one particular anime that im fascinated only with..

Lately have been going out to study with my friend..Cant really stay at home to mug..cause the surroundings would be very distracting..So yea..studied chemistry only to an extent..biology still have to carry on..worst of all is Physics..i didnt even start on it.. -.-

feeling so tired now..cause every night i will be like sleeping at 3am..Hahahahha..apparently not to study but use com..Aint i crazy?? Probably next yr i wont be able to use much of com anymore..The whole mind would consist of only one word, "STUDIES"!!

Yeap..Shall continue tonight!!


Hahahaha..she's back!! so happy..but still cant see her till school reopen.. -.-

brandz.panguin.

Its been a long time that i have post..so yea..today seems to be my bro's special day..so im gonna post..


haixx..its just about 2 more weeks before school is gonna reopen..

anyway bro!! happy birthday..have a wonderful day aite?!?!?! be happy..may your dreams come true k!! :)

brandz.panguin.

Omg..Seriously my day has been broken by a few matters!!

First off, today was the last day of the FAC tranings..And apparently some stuffs happened..and i had to like fork out at least $100 for it?!?!? Urgh..im really super pissed..Furthermore, this is not my parent's money..ITS MINE~ For goodness sake, i have already been very kind to give at least $100 k!! To me, its kinda alot can..Worst of all, my family doesnt print money notes aite??!
Sorry..even though somehow im at fault..but u do play a part in having some resposibilty in it too..But im still gonna stand firm..not trying to be selfish or whatever..but i will make my stand clear..Im only able to afford this much..Im supposed to pay for the old one and not the new one!! im already been kind enough to fork out some money..which is also much more than what u are paying!!

Secondly, to someone whom i thought you were an innocent and nice girl..I just read your blog..Im really amazed by what u have write..but somehow..i think most of the parts are right..For instance, your reasons..Probably one of the reasons is understandable..but the other reason..when i read it..the person who came straight into my mind..i hope u are not talking bout her..cause somehow..the matter is only meant to be between me and you..NO ONE ELSE..We guys aint blind at all..I dun even wish to drag my friend into this matter..But if the person u are talking bout on your blog is the same as who came into my mind..i think i do have the rights to protect my friend..I believe we, people, shouldnt accuse others without getting the facts right isnt it?!?! I didnt know you would be like this..Im really extremely disappointed in you..I dun even care whether u gonna hate me from now on, but all i know is that should the person u were referring to is my friend, i will stop your nonsense..Even my friend thinks that there's no point in sorting things out anymore, but still, i will make sure these unsupported nonsensical accusation are been put to a stop..I bet now u would be thinking that..probably that not knowing me in the first place, ur life would have been much better..By all means..My feelings have hardened..
And btw, i doubt there's any point bearing any grudges towards the person u were referring to..
Another thing would be the misunderstanding between you and your buddy who have known you for at least 1yr! U should not be pissed off with her..she has done no wrong..Even though i asked her for some help in some matters, I believe that she cherishes your friendship much more than my friendship with her.. Before that, i had a sis and bro friendship with her..but i have already broken once and for all..Its just causing lots of trouble..so yea..Even though she help me out in whatever i told her..but deep down in her heart, nothing will ever be able to break the bond between u two..Well let's just say this..im gonna disappear from both of your life..To make things better between you two..So yea..dun just let such a small misunderstanding destroy your 1yr friendship with her..Let me reiterate this again..she really does care bout the friendship you have with her..

Urgh..Im so pissed off..

haha..today after training went to Bishan J8 like around 5plus..to go find Elena..hahaha..SHe was waering that cute little santa claus hat..hahaha..Bought something from action city..Then went to have dinner with Botak and Yc..Really had fun!! TAlked bout some stuffs..REALLY REALLY BIG HOT TOPIC!! hahhaha..

Shall end here..Tmr gonna study with my friend and after go ice rink FOR FREE!! hahaha..hope it would be nice then..

brandz.panguin.

Yeap..Woke up around 6am..Had to rush down to Toa Payoh Methodist church to volunteer our school other ug..Hahahha..see!! ain't we good?!? Even though we r told no need to help them..but we still volunteered..Three fo us..Mr Poh, hui yu and i!! :)
Erm..yea actually wanna thanks Ho yang and her junior, sammy..For actually following us to your hq, just to get the "donation bag".. THANKS YEAP!! :)
Yea, went to AMK, Bishan to ask for donation..my legs are aching?!?!? Urgh..
Around 1plus, went to meet Eli and callie at tpy inter..then met the rest at novena..
Went to nicky's house to watch new moon..OMG!! thought it was gonna be interesting..but in actual fact, it was like so boring?!?! But still, going to her house was nice..We talked bout ghost stories..and played some 'truth or dare'..Hahaha..
Yc and Randal were supposed to call people on the phone..and it was freaking hilarious..
Went back home around 8plus..

Yea!! tmr is the last day of training..c'mon juniors..u all can do it!! JYJY..Shall do my best in teaching them tmr...and its 9am in the morning..Omg..

Im beginning to sense that the holiday is coming to an end..and the year 2010 will soon begin!!
Im trying to lose that 'holiday' mood..so that im prepared to go into "study" mode..Urgh!!
Tmr after training..around 6plus..will be going to mac d to study with my friend till 11.30pm..Hope it will be fruitful ba!! Shall continue this till next friday if im free...

Sometimes i really feel, would the world be better off without me?? Hahaha..i really wonder..

The feelings are coming back!! I must learn how to distract myself and control..urgh..
Im determine to keep that promise this time..I wont give up..


I hate the word, "JEALOUSY"..it freaks me out alot..


Sec 4 ppl, JYJY for next yr!! all the best..

brandz.panguin.

I think its really time for me to sit down and start studying hard already..
I just wasted practically most of my time doing nothing..OMG..
Haix..
I bet im still left with somemore homework..
Urgh!! Though now its like a crucial time for me, Im still like so freaking lazy?!?!?!
Shit..Cant be bothered with myself now..I just have to keep pushing harder!!

Come on people!! Let's strive hard for our studies ya!!


The good old days during the first semester of my sec 3 life still remains unforgettable to me..

brandz.panguin.

Yeap..Today woke up at 7plus..Had to rush to HQ to teach my juniors about the ambulance thingy..Really fun today..But got pissed off cause of some matters..
It ended at 1200 and After followed botak and Yc go to Far East plaza..Saw some clothes that i really wanna but but but..Its like super ex?!?! Yeap ate curry chicken noodle..Haahaha..suddenly got very big appetite..so yea..First time i drank rose syrup with lime?!? sour but nice :)

Hahahaha..went to raffles place to go for some musical concert invited by my officer..hahaha..nice but alittle boring..The chinese orchestra by NYP was much nice though..regretted taking video..YEap..so on the way back to mrt station..saw the word "CHOPSTICKS"..Meant for samantha de.. :)

Went to have dinner with Yang Chung..Talked bout some stuffs..

Omg..Im beginning to worried bout my o's!! Urgh!! Haix..seriously i have no time to play le..I just need to really get down on my ass and Work thru the night..Im really very worried..I cant be bothered with other stuffs now except studies...So yea..Those sec 4 next yr..JIA YOU JIA YOU!! All the best..
Sec 4E1..All the way people..We can do it.. Lets strive hard together aite?! :)

shall end here..and go study le..

I finally knew the reasons and im really disappointed in what i have heard..But anyway, i cant really care much le..So yea..Time to move on with life..majority of my mind is now focusing on studies..


I will still keep that promise i told you last time.. :)

brandz.panguin.

Yeap seriously im bored to death now..
Woke up around 9 plus..Met Hilary at mac to study and finish up all our homework..Hahaha..I have almost finished everything except my chinese..Urgh!! i was cleaning up my whole study corner and Accidentally threw away my chinese textbook!! So careless of me..
Studied for hours and seriously it was reallly fun lor..Cause of some matters..Omg..i really feel like puking because of it..Hahahaha..

Yea..so here i am..sitting in front of my com daydreaming..wondering what to do..What show should i watch?? Im super bored..


Things have changed so much..but i still prefer the good old days..Those memories do bring to me a significant value that makes it unforgettable..Im beginning to start to move on with life..


Shall end it here..nothing to do..Boredom is bad.. :(

brandz.panguin.

Its like 00 47 now..Just finished doing both my maths mock exam papers..
And later like around 10am, i will be meeting the bunny to do homework and start revising on my sec 4 chapters le..Hahaha..and i need to burn a small hole in my pocket for her!! urgh!!

Today went back to school again to train my juniors..I think i know the positions of those juniors le..shall release the news to them only on 5th Dec at Hq..Urgh..Hope i dun see some "Notorious" officers there...This sat..hope everything can go well..cause its like the only time where i can train my juniors how to take out trolley bed from the ambulance..Pray hard...
Hahaha..shall do my PT with the juniors..can train up on my stamina too.. :)

After so many things that have happen..i believe i really have to be prepared to move on with life le..There is two priorties in my life now..
1. my O's (2010)
2. Achieving well in My cca
I believe for now, nothing is as important as this two.. :)

I must get prepared to move on with life..hahhaa..shall freeze my feelings for the moment..

Oh yes!! Really shocking to go school today.. My officer celebrated my belated birthday for me!! thanks alot Hweepeng and Yee ning!! :)) Haix..forgot to take pictures lor..Super touched..

urgh..forgot to write two training reports le..Haix..Omg!! dun really have the mood to write now..

Yea..im beginning to learn from others..Must cheer up and live well!! :) yea..i think its time..no point thinking bout those sad memories..

brandz.panguin.

Yeap..Its already 00 14..that marks the end of my birth date..even though im only officially 15 now..

Didnt really do much today..Yeap was forced to go out for dinner..Urgh!!
Really bloated..Luckily no birthday cake..If not im gonna be very angry..Cause seriously i just dun have the mood to celebrate..
The matter still lingers in my head..I just dun understand why it is so sudden..

Erm..the hole in my heart still remains there..but today feelings was much better than those previous days..So yea..

I wodner when we are able to talk again..i really wanna know the full truth..

brandz.panguin.

Probably in about 3 1/2hours time, its just gonna be a normal day to me..Hahahaha..it doesnt just seems to be a special day to me anymore..Its just a day where im finally 15years old that's all..so yea..tmr im just going to stay at home and live with a normal life..I dun see anything significant to celebrate this day anymore..The feeling to celebrate that day is gone..Well, probably i should just know that im officially 15yrs old thats all..

Today woke up around 8 plus..went out at 9 to go back to school for my CCA..Realised that im starting to lose the strength of my voice..Its getting lower and lower..My drills were apparently just deteriorating..probably just didnt have the mood today..
My juniors are really learning very fast!! keep up the good work!! JYJY..

U said the matter was just something small?? It may be to you now..But somehow, the matter is big to me now..apparently within that half a month, I just started to have great feelings towards that matter..but within one day, everything is gone..I cant blame you..I believe there are more reasons in why this matter have to be stopped..(I really miss you badly now monkey..)
Furthermore, i have no rights to make this matter relive again..
Well, i can see that you are better now..Still, i will wish good luck for what you gonna do..

The hole in my heart looks like its not gonna recover..Its really heart-wrenching to know bout the news..


Tmr will just an ordinary day to me..No significance belonging to the date anymore..It will be very empty..


Monkey, All the best for your studies and life..Erm..yea happy birthday in advance too..


Its not all about whether to face reality anot..but just rmbr what was said on 27th nov and on 29th nov..Its really very painful to the heart and shocking seriously..

brandz.panguin.