Like i say, the hole in my heart that could not recover for 6 months..was recovering slowly..but now, the hole just grew bigger..And this time round, i believe its gonna be much worse..

Till now, i really dun have the mood to do much stuffs..but today, tried my best to change things around..Supposed to wake up at 6 plus..so that im can meet YC at Paya Lebar station at 8.15am..In the end, woke up late..Rushed to Toa payoh Lorong 8 to have breakfast with YC instead..His uncle brought us to Pasir Ris Downtown East..Gotta to "take care" of some kids of 7years to 10years~
Omg..Those kids were really super high!! At first, went there..Realised that both of us were big-sized to them..Hahhaha..THough they were super mischevious, but still it was worthwhile..
Throughout the day, i kept thinking what have just gone wrong..Really upset..

I dunno whats the reason totally for all these stuffs to happen in that manner..but i really hope you can tell me soon monkey..
I really miss you badly now..

Haix..Tmr still need go school..shall end here..no mood to do anything anyway..
Would things turn out for the best?? i really hope so..

brandz.panguin.

Looks like starting from today onwards, my whole life will be changed again..

I thought everything that was planned would be successful..but looking from the situation now, i doubt its gonna happen already..I have no one to blame but just myself..I waited for this week to end, probably to think that something good would happen..But it happened to be otherwise..I have seriously no mood to talk to anyone now..It just happened when i woke up..
I feel damn suffocated now..i need to go out to somewhere to be just all alone..I have no mood to talk now..Shall end here then..

I would always rmbr the day when i had my lunch on flagday..
Monkey, just wanna tell you this..i really do miss you badly..
ILY :)

I dunno why must things turn out this way?? Its just too shocking k..I didnt even have sufficient time to digest it completely..Im like so pathetic now..Haix..really feeling very hopeless..

Thought the message was gonna be a good news..but it turned out otherwise..Hurt badly now..
The hole that didnt heal for at least 6 months..was just about to recover and now, the wound is much worse..Its gonna be much longer this time round..

brandz.panguin.

Omg..What in the world is everything going on?!?!? Everyone seems very pissed off..What happen?!?! Me myself aint in a good situation..Still facing some serious misunderstanding now..
Im really at loss now..

Monkey, im not sure what have happened..im willing to listen to what u wanna say if u want to..Anyway do cheer up k?!?!? Be happy..I really do miss you badly now..
Are you being angry with me?? Im wondering..If u are, then im really sorry..

The spirit of this whole week seems to be dull and destroyed..

brandz.panguin.

HAH!! Im back from CHina ytd!! Haahaha...really miss Singapore food badly but most importantly, is still monkey and my home sweet home!! (the two most important thing in my life other than studies)

This is really one unforgettable trip but sad to say, monkey couldnt go..if not, probably the trip would have been much better..But i have learnt some things thru this trip..
When i touch down Singapore, it wasnt the end k..i had my breakfast and rushed straight to school..I had to attend my Sjab flag day..My body was really damn freaking tired..So yea, this time round..my donation tin was pathetic..So yea, secretly went to CoffeeBean..sat to rest..Hahaha..drank Mocha Latte!! super nice..

Around 12, Went back to school..Returned the tin and went lunch with Yc and monkey..Took train to Cityhall and ate NewYork NewYork!! First time people.. :)
Ordered some cheesy chicken and expresso latte..Omg..the cup was like damn freaking small?!?! Wth..Hahahha..One gulp and its gone!! luckily monkey bought the drink was huge..she cant finish so i drank it..hahahaha..really nice..But due to time constraint, immediately have to rush back home after lunch..SO Sad..

Depressed cant msg you this whole week..I miss you dar!! :)

brandz.panguin.

Hahahahahha..In at least around 23 hours time, i will be in plane setting off for Beijing!! Haix..Im so eager to go for this china trip but i will miss everything and everyone in Singapore.. Haix..


SHall go watch my show now..


Monkey!! Do take care of yourself k..See you on 25th nov..

brandz.panguin.

Haix..why cant we just take a break from homeworks?? WHY?!?! Why is it that when one pile of homework is done, another pile comes in?!?! Isnt it going to end?? Haix..im really tired..really deprived of sleep..Practically everytime i go school for bridging programme..I will be like super tired and sleepy..

Haix..LATER have to hand up E maths and A maths and seriously, i haven even finish up my A maths..Gonna die le..Chemistry, halfway..E maths, some dunno how to do..Really having a headache..and in 3 more days!!! I will be flying off to China?!?!? Hope i will alright by then..

Lately, i dun have the mood in school..Cause im really troubled by something..and TIRED...
Im trying to find to remove that gap between us..Since now things have changed, i have decided to adapt to it ba..But I really wonder if we are able to not ignore each other..Since u wont ever let the past come back again, but i really wanna be friends with you again..Like seriously..good friends who help each other when either side is in need..In class or whatever, i will just pretend nothing is happening le..I cant control you around..Whatever i see or hear, i shall not ponder over it..Though im gonna continue my promise towards you, but im just going to be a lonely boy again le..Just wish that you are happy and contented with whatever you trying to do, and im fine..Though no matter how much it will hurt me, i will still bear with it.. Can we talk like normal friends from now on??

I miss you..

brandz.panguin.

Today is meant to be a special and memorable day for me..But will it ever happen again?? Even if it cant be, this number 10, of every month, i will always rmbr it in my heart. Everytime when i think of those good moments i had in the past, i feel so depressed. Cause those days cant be relived again..JUST only one person is able to make it happen..

Haix..today went back to school for my bridging progamme.. Omg seriously, u cant possibly have 6 lessons of E and A maths combinations in one day!!! Its super tedious..The last 2 lessons, my brain is already malfunctioning...how am i going to understand my maths la!!! Please..Give me short break and im already contented..Tmr still got Physics and Chemistry and English!! Urgh!! Still have to go dance rehearsal..seriously i dance till both knees are injured now and my right wrist is like so difficult to rotate and i cant clench my fist totally..Its very pain..

Hahaha..probably today is one of my best first aid lecture i have given..Its for GB de..Hhahaa..the lesson just seems to be so interesting..And apparently some GB juniors called me a MONKEY?!?!?! In what way do i look like a monkey??? Hahahhaa..It looks like having a class with more people is so much better...


I really wish we can talk before going China..I miss you..

brandz.panguin.

Haix..OMG!! seriously i gonna go nuts soon..Cant the school just give us a break?? i really cant take it when there's maths everyday?!?!?! Apparently till now, i haven even finish my maths homework k..i dun really quite understand it..and i have so many questions to do..Urgh!!! when i see the questions, my brain just wanna keep stop thinking la!! haix..Im like feeling so super stressed now k..I dun even feel like thinking about anything now..Worst of all, i dun even have tuition k...

Haix..im really upset now too..though the matters between me and someone have happened months ago, but it just seems that the person hates me alot..Am i really a pain in your ass?? I just really wanna remove that hostilty gap between us ASAP..But how am i gonna have a chance to talk to you if you dun allow?? I feel so alone..i long to hear your voice talking to me ever again..Will things between us ever be better again?? Can we talk ??

Shall get back to my homework le..

Congrats on getting your new phone.. =D

brandz.panguin.

Haix..Its really bored to go back to school just to study..the bridging progamme just doesnt seemed to help me much lor..Seriously im already in that holiday mood whereby i just wanna rest, slack and think bout someone that's all..Im currently soon to have my mental breakdown but i still have one more week of bridging progamme to attend!!! Argh!! Isnt it just killing my time?!?! Apparently after bridging programme, two days later, i will be flying off to China, Shandong.. And the worst things is that once i touch down on Singapore at 05 45..i will be having my breakfast and i straightaway have to rush down to school?!?!? Cause i have to do my CCA flag day!!! Grrr...Isnt it just so pathetic?!?!? Pls la people, GIVE me a very good break can?? My schedule is like so packed for next week?? Monday, Wednesday and Friday i think i will be having rehearsal for dancing and on Tuesday and Thursday, i will be helping out for the FAC training..Urgh..

Im feeling kind of not feeling well..But i doubt its cause of the jab i took yesterday..my predictions is that its cause of me staying so late in school and sleeping so late?!!??! I really cant take it..really wanna close my eyes soon..


I know that things between us can be better..but just that we have to have to make the initiative to remove that hostility between us can? I really wanna talk to you before we go to China..I know im not able to do the talking there..so can we talk in Singapore instead? I miss talkng to you so much..Till now, seriously i still do consider you as someone that i do confide in...I realy hope things between us can be better... i miss you badly now..


Im still wondering bout whether to wanna go for the friday thing..Will i make things better or worse??

brandz.panguin.

Haix..seriously nowadays i just dun have the feeling of going for FAC training la..after today's training, i just dun wanna teach anymore le..but still, i have to go back to teach sia..Haix..
I must have that word "ENDURANCE" in my mind!!

Today just seems to be quite of a bad day for me..During sjab training, quarrelled with my friend just because of some dumb matter..then come home, have to see all the black faces of my family members..So yea..didnt talk to them at all..Then while watching television, suddenly my mom asked what do i need to buy for clothes..haix..my phone just vibrated and she was like pissed off..Pls la..what do you expect me to do when my friend msg me?!?! Like that, so hot-tempered for what?!?!Really pissed off man..

Less than two more weeks, im already going China..Haix.. feel like going but also have the feeling of not going too..


To someone special to me, i really wanna to talk to you privately before the China trip..Im not sure if im asking the impossibilty but seriously, can we have a small talk one of these few days??
I really miss talking to you already..You are just too special to me that i cant forget..i miss you badly..TAke care..

brandz.panguin.

OMG!! Its already school holiday but i still need to go school for lessons k!! And still have to do so homework k..Haix..luckily i finish in school le..But still, geog forum homework to do sia..Haix..Seriously after exam, i just dun even have the mood to study le..just wanna have my OWN FREAKING LAPTOP!! so that i can just keep watching my show peacefully la!! seriously i have so many videos to watch now!! But my bro just have to come and spoil the fun lor..Haix..So irritating sia..

In another 2 more weeks plus minus..i will be going to China, Shandong..But seriously i tmr actually wanna take the flu jab de..but my mother say dun need..Anyway tmr also still need to attend my FAC training sia..really tired..sometimes i really wish if i could just close my eyes..pretending all those bad memories will vanish for life la!! Apparently, my teacher in charge..wanna me to drop out of the China trip la..Haix..

Haix..seriously i really hope that this time round the china trip..things would be much nicer..


I really still wonder if whether things between both of us are progressing well anot lor..WHen things between us just turns sour, i really feel very hurt and upset..as though there's a hole in my heart..I wanna talk to you so much..but are you willing to anot?? i really miss you so much..Take care..your dancing is really awesome..


I shall go back to the stairs one of these few days where i had left lots of my beautiful memories..this time round i just have to spend time myself already..Let's see when im free and i will really go down to think bout those days i had there..

brandz.panguin.

HAHAHA!! Im back from camp..Seriously this camp can probably be the best i ever have..cause this camp is the only one that i can really slack like hell..I and two more first aider just have to perform first aid..and follow wherever they went..That's all!! But in this camp, you will be able to see you friends true colours and some stuffs are super spooky..

Day 1
Went back home to pack up and immediately took a taxi to rush down to school at 3plus..Somehow we were late..after that took the school bus to Kallang Water Sports centre..The NCC cadets had to do the dragonboat activity..Wanted to do but how to do with long pants and boots sia!! Haix..so in the end, sat on the platform stoning.. Me and my friends (YC and KK) saw some things that were not supposedly to be in the water..gross!! Sat there for at least 2hours..Went back school..Had dinner..Then they had their In-School topography..really super fun k!!! The school was just practically dark except for the DnT block..Walked around..When sleeping time, we planned to sleep in Our SJAB room..but in the end, went to the staff lounge to sleep with Mr Heng..OMG!! Its like haven..Did so many things in that lounge..WAtched the Hulk..but the last part was spoiled lor..HAix..so slept around 3+ am..woke around 6am then moved everything out..

DAy 2
Had our breakfast and after that, went straight to Christ CHurch sec. school..The cadets were told to do the abseiling thing..And, everyone did it!! HAHAHA!! while waiting for them, Played with their walkie talkie till no batt!!! hahaha..WEnt back school for lunch..At night, they were suppose to do their Night- outdoor topography at Maritchie Resevoir. (oops, sorry dunno how to spell) We were told to wear long sleeve..but all the first aiders dun have, so three of us changed into their NCC uniform..OMG!! seriously the first uniform i took got the rank of first SRGNT!! ARGH!! But too itchy, so changed into a new one..but this time NO RANK at all!! seriously i was like powdering my whole body with Prickly Heat powder..really cant take it la!! But after that, got such a heavy rain, so in the end, stayed in school to give the cadets some endurance test..SOme stuffs that were meant not to be told happened..so ya, after that..they cancelled the whole thing..Very scary seriously..when i slept in the Step Up room..i immediately knocked out the moment i rest on the floor..REALLY tired..went to bathe at midnight..then woke up at 2am to do duty till 3.30am..

DAy 3
HAHAHa..last day!! had breakfast..area cleaning..and break camp!!!


haix..TMr still got Bridging prog..Haix..shall sleep soon..Its like 12.36am now?!?!


I miss the sheep..

brandz.panguin.