Haix..I somehow just dont have the feeling to go to school anymore!! Haix...

Tmr got two tests la!! Haix..seriously tests is just like a basic necessities of my life already k..So sick of it..


Im really glad that you are kinda happy with your life..

brandz.panguin.

Haix..Does it seems like everything have to be my freaking fault?!?!??!Haix..


I do agree that being hurt mentally and emotionally is so much worse than being hurt physically..For instance, once u get a cut on your hand..you bleed..it will recover..But once you get blamed or insulted at..the wound will never heal for life..Sometimes it would be nice if you have someone that you confide in sitting beside you..listening to your sorrows.. Haix.. for now, i have just lost someone who i confide in alot..Haix.. If some things didnt happen.. things currently wouldnt be at this state.. Im just feel very suffocated with troubles..but sad to say, i dont have anyone to share with... Probably my life is meant to be like this?!?! I'll just have to face the facts..

2more weeks and EOY is coming!! Super worried for my studies now..Really need to be pushed harder!! To all my friends, GOOD LUCK for EOY and strive harder k!! Do your very best..

Is there any ways that can turn back the time to last yr?? I really miss those days i had that time..I think among the 3 years i have spent in this school, Sec 2 is the best i ever had..Especially during Semester 2, things were just moving so smoothly..Haix..Things have changed but there is only one thing has never changed..My feelings..


I really just wanna talk to you badly..i do not wanna us to keep having that kind of hostility..Strive harder k!

brandz.panguin.

On Sunday woke up around 6am to go jogging with Nicky..supposed that Dewi was going too..but she overslept..so ya..went to jog with Nicky alone..Stamina dropped too much..But hahaha..was kinda suprrising that i jogged two rounds without stopping..Hahaha..BIG miracle..Jogged for at least 45mins then sat down with Nicky and talked bout everything that just came into our minds..Talked for at least 1hour plus ba..hahhaa..Saying our sorrows and happiness to each other..Really fun to talk to..After that, Nicky decided to study..so yea..called Hilary and Bharti to go study at United Square in the first place..so nicky and i went back first..meeting everyone at 12.30pm..But i was late!! Im just too addicted to one of the show that i forgot all bout the studying..So yea..rushed to United Square and Mcd was totally crowded..and we went to the Square 2 fork and spoon to study till 6 plus..Studyed but we were also playing with M&Ms..The cleaner was somehow pissed off with us as they were throwing M&Ms around..SO yea..Thats the day for Sunday..


Two more weeks to EOY!! argh..Must focus hard..

Whenever i see, the feeling just got stronger..

If i have a wish now, i would wish that everything now could change back to the previous times where good memories was surrounding the atmosphere..I really miss you and those days..

brandz.panguin.

The 2nd week have passed and about abother 2 more weeks, its gonna be our EOY!! and seriously the time is flying too fast..Cant take it..and Today got our EOY exam timetable..and realised that last time the exam periods took around 2weeks but this time round, it is in bout 8days!!! super scary k..Haix..and somehow Physics and A maths have to be on the same date..WHY?!?!?!?

Today after school, stayed back till 6 plus just to play floorball and some soccer..WAs playing floorball when Mr Loh and Mr Heng suddenly came and joined us too!! The game was really fun but stamina like starting to drop badly..Haix...Thats why this Sun morning, gonna go to TPY stadium with Nicky and probably others to jog and improve my stamina..Hope I can burn some FATS too..HAHAHA..

Other than Studies, i just worried bout some other stuffs too..Till now, I still believe that good things never last long..i just dunno why..Things may look good on a day..while the next day, Everything just seems to change..Haix..I really wonder whether things are just progressing better or worse?? But what i know is that..Things might never be the same as last time..I really wish some things can return back to the past...But can i?!?! And what fears me is that i just dun wanna be another J(small version) in that person's life..whereby that person is being stalked at intervals..If it is me, i will of course feel damn freaking pissed off too..So ya, I have somehow stopped "stalking" someone few months back, the reason is that i just dun wanna that person to be angry or pissed off with me..and i think i should be contented enough..I doubt i can request to return those previous good memories cos it looks impossible anymore..Things have changed just too much..In conclusion, I just wanna that person to be happy and safe..and im =D..


Last thing to write, to someone:

Please do not withdraw from your drill test..Just do your best..It doesnt matter whether u failed or passed..Its the effort you put it in to do it well..GOod Luck k!! IM VERY SURE THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO PASS THE DRILL TEST..If you do not try it out, how would you know that you cant do it?? So ya, rmbr not to withdraw..Strive hard..JIA YOU JIA YOu!! Seriously, though i have seen you doing drills only a few times..but from what i see, im very sure that u can do well in this drill test stage 3. All the Best!! God bless..

brandz.panguin.

Haix..today is the last day where all CCA will stand down..and i didnt went for it..cos i have to go to Ngee ann Poly for some stuff!! argh!! And the worst thing is that whatever the training department have planned for today..it wasnt going as according and im really pissed k!! Haix..Supposed to end at 5.30pm usually for my sjab..but teacher end at 5pm!! Haix..Whats going on seriously?!!??

Went back home and seriously im dead tired and having a bad headache now..But it looks like i cant rest at all..my EOY is coming up and im not really prepared for it seriously..Super worried..But seriously..though everyday teachers are pressurizing us with Our EOY..but seriously..i just wanna a break for awhile..but what im worried is that should i take a break..i would have lost many things..Thats the problem that i have to keep pushing myself to study even though im tired...really have to keep pushing till the end..Maybe i should really sit down and study for long..Let's hope i can...In bout 2weeks time!!

No matter what happens, my heart will never change..cos the feelings in me just keep growing stronger and stronger..


Argh!! shall end here..start studying!! EVeryone good luck for ur EOY!! all the best..

brandz.panguin.

Today is the beginning the week and im still really not fully prepared for EOY and im still wondering for some stuffs..This whole is full of tests and its like as though its never going to end..really super worried for my studies especially...everyone knows..MY poor chinese..Haix..the rest im also quite worried..So ya..if anyone is willing to help me..i will be really grateful...

Another matter is that i really still wonder whether things are getting for the better or are they not improving at all..Though i know whatever i wanted to have like the previous times..it may only be a wishing thinking on my part..i really still wished i could turn back time to whereby someone changed my life and liven up my life too..To someone, whatever i have done on friday..i do have any motives nor do i want anything in return..Probably what i have done didnt make you happy at all..nvm ba..i just wanna you to be happy and im contented seriously..


Shall have my dinner..and study le..

I hope you know who you are..Good luck for tests too..

brandz.panguin.

Another boring day just went by..Had e maths lesson..halfway during the lesson..suddenly was having a headache then not really feeling that well..so immediately tok out panadol eat..luckily during CCA time..i was feeling much better le..CCA days are just getting shorter and more boring too..Everytime would be the same old stuffs like First aid and Foot drill..nothing much to do de.. I wonder when the HQ policy can change so that we, cadets can go more for public duty..if not it would seem very boring..Really miss those days i went for NDP and my FAC trainings..that made my whold CCA life lively k..Hope by next year the policy can change so that im able to go for NDP duty..hahaha..then can eat Old Chang Kee..drink milo and others!! But hearing from my officers..we cant put too much hope on it..so ya..haix..

Today footdrill was kind of better than the previous times..and we made everyone do the buddha clap..which was really effetive..that was like a remedy that perked everyone up..Went through the Hormat thing with everyone...everyone did quite well this time..Keep up the good work..But today still got slight headache during CCA, so didnt use much of my energy to shout command..so let YC do most of the job..Was really feeling wierd the whole time..but just kept it in me..Now really feeling tired..but i still have plenty of work to do..still havent finish up all my 3 projects..and im just really tired of doing it le..today during the geog period..not feeling that well so cant take it..took the time to rest..but its like i have to do lots of things and i just felt very frustrated...Luckily Ho yang did helped us in writing out a draft on speaker 3..thanks alot ya!! =D


Haix..like im gonna say..i just have to face the reality..but im still going to try my best to change things from being worse..Somehow..

brandz.panguin.

Hahaha..Had our Bio test which consists of 3 chapters and my body was like freaking pain la..Back bone was like so pain k..The day just went on normally till Chem lesson..was kind of interesting..Learnt the oxidation, reduction and redox reaction..At first was super confusing..but in the end, knew how to do le!! =D Hahaha..Teacher gave us worksheet to do..and i feel very blur cocked lor..keep doing wrong..haix..

Lately after waiting for recess..go back classroom..stomach like not feeling well la..probably on the verge of collapsing..hahaha..maybe?


Have 3 current project on my list to do..and im really frustrated by it now..For sjab, there is one..tmr then can do..must photcopy some stuff and paste inside scrapbook..touch up alittle..and thats it..just trying to get over with it and DONE..fullstop...Next Chinese project, did the drawing already but still need to think of suggestions for the olympic games..Sian.. Lastly, the geog debate..Done halfway...still doing it..Argh!! very confusing la..shall end here..



Haix..no matter what have happened, i just have to face the truth and reality and live with it..But in my heart, the days during last yr NDP onwards was the best moment of my life.. =D I will nvr forgot those moments seriously..

brandz.panguin.

Haix..so what if its term 4?!?! it just doesnt make a difference in my life la..haix..I really need a big change seriously.. I just dun like the life i have..Haix..how the hack am i gonna change it?!?!


Like im gonna say this again.. Things have changed so much.. which i dun even like it at all..Haix..



Really wish if i could go back to the past during the days of NDP 2008 onwards..

brandz.panguin.

Haix..i have been sleeping like 1 to 2am nowadays..couldnt sleep at all..really thinking of some stuffs badly..now i dun even have the feeling to finish up my homework cos im like really very upset now..I really need to talk to someone..but sad to say, last time at least i had one best friend whom i can confide in but lately things have changed..and im left all alone now..

In this yr, the thing i regretted most is that i have created too much misunderstanding towards a person..Till now, im really sorry..Im trying my best to change everything for the better..but look likes things aint changing..During these holi, i just kept thinking of the past we had last time..its really sad.. If i could turn back the clock..i would have chosen to mend some things..I know somehow due to the misunderstandings or other stuffs..the person still hates me..I just cant crack my mind on how to resolve that hatred in that person..

Ever since, some things happened..things just changed..I really cherish the past but my wish is now that everything could revert back to last time where things were much wonderful..my life aint getting well at all.. But when i really sit down, i know thats just only a wishful thinking on my part..i doubt things would be as per normal like last time..

Haix..yesterday was always the most special day of the month for me..it was the day that changed my whole life..I do cherish this special numeral every month..though it has ended sorrowfully, but the moments will forever stay in my heart..i will nvr forget this date..


Well lets just say, probably all the hurtful things that had happened is due to my doings ba..


shall end here..





i miss you badly sheep..cant wait to see you on monday..

brandz.panguin.

supposed to go for chinese remedial today but in the end didnt cos teacher said that they doing all the compo that they owned..so it was not necessary for me to go..so went out to study outside which was around 9 plus..Really concentrated and did most of my homework..but still got plenty of them!! argh.. Studied till 4pm then walked back home.. Started to slack till 6 plus then start doing my homework agn..Haix..it looks like a pile of homework that is never gonna be done in time..

Nothing to say le..shall end here..


To someone, i have been trying to ask u out in order to talk to you but i doubt you will want..nvm ba..i wont force you k..i just wanna you to be happy..im not sure if you are avoiding me..but i really hope that whatever bad memories in the past..u will let it drop..bringing them into the future is not gonna make things go well..i really hope you are not pissed off with me anymore..im missing you..take care..just wanna say that i will not give up..

brandz.panguin.

Haix..Today managed to do the maths worksheet but in the end, went out to cineleisure with SJI people to watch G-Force(3D)..Was really wonderful..the show was great..but during the show..got some inconsiderate people that just threw tissue paper backwards..and it flew onto my hand!! WtH!! argh..the atmosphere was so dark..thought was some kind of flying insect..and i was very irritated..didnt care bout it..Shit lor..spoilt my mood during the show..

Haix..Tmr must try my best to finish up all my homework then can concentrate for studying alr..Haix..Hope i wont procrastinate ba..Must have the willpower to keep on fighting till the end..


Haix..This few days didnt get to see you..really thinking of you lor..Haix..How i wish tmr got school le..then can get to see you le..Anyway take care during the holis ya..(for sheep actually*)


shall end here..

brandz.panguin.

Argh!! I have wasted 2 days of life on slacking..Haix..WEdnesday must start studying alr..Haix..Nothing much to say..shall end here..


dunno what to do and say in order to convince you..sorry..

brandz.panguin.

Worst day of my life..During sjab time, both training heads kanna lectured badly by the teacher in charge..(Dun wanna say..) Haix..Just because of the paper on the notice board..Two words on the paper just landed both me and Zhu Xi into a VERY WONDERFUL LECTURE!! Wow..Worst of all is that one of my ex-senior came back and he was standing around listening to the lecture..He confirm very happy inside the heart ba..Argh!! Now i cant even be bothered by that lecture alr..So pathetic..

Sad to say, the teacher is not only my CCA teacher..but for my Bio too!! Shitto..Gonna spend at least another 1yr plus more with her lor..haix..the teacher confirm very disapppointed in me...Haix..

Today was not really a good day k!! During recess time, Both me and Deborah banged into each other and one cup of Ice Lemon Tea spilled into a plate of grilled fish(which was Bharti de)..Hahaha..but was not anybody faults at all..Since im one of the cause that spilled the drink into her food..i decided to give her my plate while i eat her plate..Tasted like porridge..botht eh fish and rice were sweet and alittle cold..hhahahhaa..

Tmr have to wake up like 7 plus just to bring my juniors to YTSS..Haix..gonna be super sleepy...Nvm la..at least it will distract me...Im super depressed now..Dun wanna rmbr this day..



If i have a wish..i would wish that there would not be any school holidays..cos its like so lonely..and u cant get to see your friends..Haix..And i cant see someone somemore..super sad lor..



Sheep, Get well soon k!! Drink more water..Rest more and sleep early k!! See you after the Sept holis..Take care..stay happy!! =D Seriously i gonna miss you badly...

brandz.panguin.

Dunno why today was kinda long..Haix..After physics lesson, all of us were like freaking tired..so the day happened to go on quite solemn..But when we had PE, played floorball..just cause of this match, someone have to be angry with me for no reson..chill k!! its just a game..it doesnt matter if we win or lose..so what if we lose?? so what if we win?? not really a big deal ba..its just to have fun thats all..Haix..dunno how some people think lor..Haix..Anyway, if my team lost..i wouldnt really get bothered by it..

Haix..super lots of homework today la!! E maths was the most torturing!! Mdm Choo gave us at least 19 questions k!! and i still have to do one more A maths question..Still have to do chemistry theory wb and study for biology test tmr..

Really pissed off today..while going to SS lesson..went past Bio class..the teacher wanted to give us two tests which consist of 6 chapters la!! isnt that so pathetic?!?! But in the end..requested cher to give us onli 3 chaps. tmr..But next term got lots of test lor!! Haix...My life is beginning to fill with plenty of tests!! shitto..


Tmr still got training la!! haix..dun feel like going for it..cos its just to improve on our juniors first aid..They gonna have their BFA on SAt!! and i have to like wake up at 7 plus just to bring my juniors to YTSS..Haix..Probably i can see some of my YTSS friends there ba..Dont feel like going le..Still thinking..Should i or should i not?!?! but what can i do there?? hahaha..Hope i have passed my AFA and probably i can get my Certficate soon whereby im certified to do perform first aid outside!! dunno yet..

shall stop here..nid to go study le!!


Sheep!! GEt well soon k..Rest more and drink more water ya..Dont get stressed up with studies..take it easy..anything dunno..feel free to ask us..we will be willing to help you.. sleep early too k..Hope to see you soon tmr..The floorball game kind of boring without you lor..JYJY! Keep on recovering!! Hope you will stay healthy and strong!!

brandz.panguin.