Sunday, April 18, 2010
12:59 AM
Spoilt.
Just finished studying for biology SPA and the test.
brandz.panguin.
Urgh! i dunno how to describe things lately.
My mind is just full of frustration now..
I dunno how to express things right now.
Im just like a boy waiting by the beach.
With an hourglass in my hand.
The sand inside represents those horrible moments happening.
It may seems to be going down the hourglass.
But one thing is that it never seems to end.
I think after some thinking, i bet those words were in fact for me.
Well, just too bad. Im just a person whom people hate alot.
The hope that im holding all this while. Is just been shattered.
Just like those glass pieces scattered on the floor..
Just when my day is getting better, things have to appear and destroy everything.
Im really feeling hopeless now. Im just living such a pathetic life.
Struggling hard.
Those small hopes i have been looking upon all this time,
seems redundant already. I tried to be standing back on my feets.
Now, i have fallen again.
If my advice last 2years have worked, probably things might have changed alittle.
But still, all this regrets just appear to be here.
i know some matters are not going to happen anymore, but why is that retarded mentality of mine so resistant?
In just a few seconds, i have lost everything. All gone.
It takes time again to mould those dreams.
A few days ago, i tried to open those letters again.
I could only open for a few seconds and after that, close it.
i couldnt take the pressure of those flashbacks coming back.
Really useless and hopeless.
Even if i wanna make things better, its useless now.
Knock me out from all this horrible life.
I dun wanna put my hopes too high anymore.
Once it drops on you, the pain is just too much.
Probably in the first place, i shouldn't have appeared in your life.
Im just a parasite in your life.
I should just quietly walked out of your life.
I dun wanna make your life anymore worse.
As long as your life is happy, i should be contented.
Shall start walking out soon. I wanna keep some unforgettable memories first.
And last thing, i know that whole sentence was referring to me.
I know u dislike me now. I cant blame you then. i just had to say im really sorry.
I dun deserve your forgivenessa anymore.
brandz.panguin.
